Saturday, May 22, 2004

Republican Bigots

Gotta love'em. Briefing Room gives us an ad transcript from the Republican primary in NC-5.

HOST: This episode of Congressional Jeopardy is paid for by Vernon Robinson for Congress . Today's topic -- homosexual rights! This feminist voted to create special rights for homosexuals and took money from the radical gayPACs.

CONTESTANT 1: [Rings in] Alright, it's a, who is Senator Hillary Clinton?

[BUZZER] HOST: Oh no, I'm sorry. We were looking for Senator Virginia Foxx. Virginia Foxx did that. As a Wake Forest Trustee, this bankrupt businessman let two lesbians get married in broad daylight in the campus church.

CONTESTANT 2: [Rings in] That's Jay Helvey. Who is Jay Helvey?

HOST: You are correct! This other bankrupt businessman brags that he's a tolerant Republican - a code word for gay-friendly. As an Appalachian State Trustee, he let the school sponsor a transvestite drag show.

CONTESTANT 3: [Rings in] Ugh. Who is Ed Broyhill?

HOST: That's right! When the United Way attacked the Boy Scouts for their ban on gay scoutmasters, this courageous conservative successfully defended the Boy Scouts.

CONTESTANT 4: [Rings in] Vernon Robinson. Everybody knows that. Who is City Councilman Vernon Robinson?

[BELL] HOST: Yes, the real conservative! Vernon Robinson: I'm Vernon Robinson and I approved this message because I will fight for our conservative values in Congress just as I have at City Hall.