Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Locker Room Talk

There's been a lot of talk about just what kinds of "locker room talk" guys engage in. Leave aside this is of course the metaphorical "locker room" even though Billy and Donald were, you know, at work, and not in their mancave or some exclusive dude social preserve.

Dudes can say horrible things about women. The objectifying "I would like to have sex with, she's hot, the things I'd like to do to her" kind of talk of course exists, and exists in contexts where it would be plainly inappropriate such as work, and is common though I think not quite as constant as people might think. I mean, it gets a bit boring once you're older than your early 20s. Some dudes never leave that behind, of course, but at this advanced stage in life I don't play along with it and most people I know don't even if there is that guy who wants to go there.

But however inappropriate, gross and misogynistic that kind of talk can be, anyone who suggested sexual assaulting someone would just be met with "what the fuck are you talking about, dude?" stares at a minimum. It isn't actually common for guys to express a desire to assault or rape women. It's probably less common than guys actually assaulting and raping women. I'm sure I've known guys in my life who have sexually assaulted/attempted to rape/raped women, but they didn't boast about it. "She wanted me" would be a boast. Not "I made her do it."

tl;dr as horrible as dudes can be they usually don't brag about raping women. Guy talk can be gross, but it isn't that horrible.

...adding, none of this is about what women hear from men personally.