Mr. Hinky Dink writes to Chris Matthews:
Dear Mr. Matthews:
Thank you for putting that white-haired, liberal, anti-American, bleeding-heart know-it-all, Phil Donahue, in his place the other night. Boy did you sit him down in the corner for a well-deserved time out! Heh! Heh!
I mean, Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick made of flubber! How dare he question the greatness of this country? How dare he ask purposefully tough and needlessly thought-provoking questions? Who does he think he is, anyway? The second coming of Edward R. Murrow, or something?
He should know by now that it's his job to keep us entertained. And I'll tell you one thing, Mr. Matthews, it is not very entertaining to hear someone speak out against ! Now, speaking out against democRATS, socialists and commies, that's something else entirely. Take Rush Limbaugh for instance, now there's entertainment you can set your watch to!
Now I don't mean to leave you out of that equation, Mr. Matthews. Sometimes you entertain me almost as much as Rush does! But I think you might need to hire some new writers, no offense. This anti-war schtick you've been doing lately is not only un-American, it's also boring me to tears. I'm practically crying like onion-peeling bitch, here!
If you like, I could send you some writing samples. I have one piece called "Nuke those Godless devout Muslims" that, I think, would be a hoot to see on your show.
Thanks again for putting Donahue in his place! But next time, please tell him that it's Rush's job to give us the facts. You guys on MSNBC should just stick to the
entertainment business!
Sincerely,
Mr. Hinky Dink
P.S. Isn't hue just another word for pink? Heh! You should call him "Donapinko" the next time you see him.
P.P.S. I can't wait to read your book!
