Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Wealthy White People From Good Backgrounds Are Never Involved In Crime

And suburban high school students from good schools never take drugs! This WaPo article is a parody of the genre.

They called the operation the “Main Line take over project.” In terms of intricacy and ambition, it appears more suited for the business pages than the crime blotter.


In all, they look like everyday, if wealthy, teens and 20-somethings — perhaps characters out of “The Social Network,” the movie about Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook’s birth. Not the sort to be caught with what investigators say they found: eight pounds of marijuana, 23 grams of cocaine, 11 grams of ecstasy, three grams of hash oil, $11,000 in cash, two AR-15 rifles, one handgun and loads of ammo.


“This is a huge story because of the prestige of the schools involved,” one of Brooks’s friends, who requested anonymity, told The Washington Post. “It’s not like this is the first time there has been a drug bust. It’s the uniqueness of the perpetrators.”


“The shoulder injury put him down the wrong path,” said the friend, who visited with Brooks at a January party after Brooks had learned prosecutors were investigating him. “His friends were off at college, and he was chilling at home and got bored. The idle mind is a dangerous one.”

And of course newspaper commenters are suddenly sympathetic.