Picky Eaters

I don't have kids, but my observation of the children of Other People (limited by definition, but an outside perspective has value) is that younger children have no problem eating, or at least trying, whatever is offered to them, generally, if the parents raise them on a varied diet and encourage them to be open. But even those kids often hit a picky early teenager phase, which they then grow out of.

It might be tempting to buy marketers’ claims that once children got personalized food, they finally got to eat what they actually liked. But exploding choice fostered comparison and discontent. Within just a few decades, all sorts of foods that kids used to love — from briny shellfish to bitter marmalade — came to be unthinkable as kids’ foods. Preferences were increasingly understood in relation to aversions, and the beating heart of modern children’s food became displeasure.

Parents today hear grim warnings about the dangers of fighting pickiness. We’ve been told that urging kids to eat any particular dish can cause lasting aversions and dysfunctional relationships with food. At the same time, many parents quietly anguish over children’s highly processed diets, rising obesity rates and the stresses that stalk picky eaters in daily life. There’s a lot of cognitive dissonance, and it’s contributing to immense frustration, anxiety and undeserved guilt around mealtimes.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Before the days of Froot Loops and Lunchables, generations of American children learned to relish foods of all textures, flavors and colors, while obesity and eating disorders were both rare. The children of the past show us a happier, healthier and more delicious path forward. Parents can warmly encourage children to eat family foods and avoid offering alternatives. They can also counter corporate marketing with their own enthusiastic messages about the foods they love to eat, whether it’s a crunchy salad or slippery green olives.

Generalizing away from food, teach your kids that disliking things is not actually a personality. Teach your adults that, too.