Tuesday, May 07, 2002

My conservative pal, Snotglass, gives us his view of the Pipe Bomber:

Reliable sources close to the investigation have linked suspected pipe bomber Luke John Helder directly to the leftist regime of Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. According to intelligence analyists at the respected James J. Angleton Center for Applied Sleuthing at the Heritage Foundation, Helder met with agents of the Iraqi intelligence service in the Czech Republic late last year to discuss plans to disrupt the American postal grid in preparation for an Iraqi invasion of the American midwest. Together with experts from North Korea and Iran, the Iraqi agents developed an elaborate deep-cover plan for Helder to disguise his activities as the work of a domestic anti-government Christian fundamentalist.

Additional research conducted by noted international strategist Jonah Goldberg revealed that Helder is also a graduate of the Al-Aqsa Martyr's Brigade advanced explosives course. However, Goldberg cautioned, Helder missed the last seminar in the course. This analysis was confirmed by sources close to Ariel Sharon, who said that Helder had already applied for a next-of-kin beneficiery pension under the Saudi Terrorists' Bill of Rights.

In the wake of these revelations, defense policy experts at the American Enterprise Institute said this incident confirms the justification for an immediate campaign to liberate the Iraqi people and free the world from the threat of Iraqi pipe bombs of mass destruction. In the long term, however, the experts also said that only early deployment of a National Missle Defense system would ensure American domestic security in the face of wide-spread pipe-bomb technology sponsored by rogue states.

Respected economists at the Evergreen Freedom Foundation and the Club for Growth called for tax cuts to provide stimulus to the economically critical homesecurity and rural mailbox protection industries.

You people should research credible sources of information before you speculate.