By contrast, viewing the classically outfitted Mr. Bush enables one to behold moral enlightenment and physical perfection. I defy any normal person to look at this man without adoring him. Combine that with the knowledge that my employers at the Washington Post make huge profits from the sweetheart federal contract that the president gave to our Kaplan education materials subsidiary, and I am anxious to proclaim that he is the finest human being to ever draw a breath.
Anyone who says otherwise is an extremist who hates our land, and must be shunted to the margins of society. George W. Bush is America, and vice versa, and criticism of either is criticism of both. Any attempt to distinguish between the two is hateful and divisive. The principle of free speech does not imply that there is license to speak against this great country by criticizing the one man who protects us from terrorist annihilation, for to do so is treason.
and some warm fuzzies from Ann Coulter.
Given that you liberals are probably too busy robbing convenience stores to verify my claim of preeminence, you can have your parole officers look it up for you. I am number one. That would be numero uno for the vast majority of you earth toned Gore voters who are here illegally after wading across the Rio Grande.
Socialist web weasels, this is the ideal time to take inventory:
ME: Number one author in America. Renowned columnist and lecturer. Revered laissez faire deep thinker. Influencing policy at the highest levels of government. Living in luxury. Hobnobbing with all the best people. Irresistibly charismatic. Flawless Aryan genes. Blond, lustrous hair. Incomparably exquisite facial features. Six feet tall. Forty six pounds. Sweet, cheerful disposition.
YOU: Not the number one author in America. Malicious semiliterate slob. Convoluted unthinking conformist. Haplessly caterwauling to the sleazy nether regions of society. Groveling in the abject poverty that accompanies being addicted to black tar heroin. Associating only with your fellow inbred perverts. Lacking refinement and charm. Most likely an offensive interracial mulatto color. Ratty, lice ridden Don King hair. Marty Feldman eyes. Karl Malden nose. Mini-Me body. Corrosively embittered by your sorry lot in life.
and that asshole from Slate says us liberals aren't any fun.