Thursday, November 07, 2002

Mr. Hinky Dink writes to Bill O'Reilly:


Dear Mr. O'Reilly:

Watching your program last night ispired me to compose this missive. Your idea to seal the borders of this great country with our military is nothing less than brilliant! I mean nothing will make our whacky neighbors to the north and south shake in their foreign made, girlie boots like amassing our troops on their borders. Heh! Heh! That should make them toe the line! I mean, who do these bozos and bozitos think they are anyway? All they do is sit there and bad mouth us, and if you ask me, that's unAmerican!

Jesus H. Christ in a pickle bucket! A thought just occured to me and I really do think you're onto something here. Not only can we keep out the commie foreigners, we can also keep in those damned liberal kooks who might want to go to Canada, now that we've got a real party running the country. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for them leaving this great nation, but I want to make sure they get an ass-kicking before they go!

I'll tell you, I thought my idea was smart until I heard yours. I was thinking that instead of doing Hands Across America (remember that liberal, tolerance-inspired spectacle?), we could do Hands Around America. Yes, sir. We'd all join hands and form a giant ring around this country. That way we could just let in the people we wanted by yelling, "Red Rover, Red Rover, send all your pretty women and conservative law and order types over!" Heh. But I have to admit, putting troops on the border makes a lot more sense.

Keep up the good work Mr. O'Reilly. You are one very entertaining son of a gun, and you sure do yell good!

Sincerely,

Mr. Hinky Dink

P.S. You should try to take that Brit Hume's place on Fox News. He reminds me too much of Droopy the Dog.