Saturday, April 26, 2003

It's Okay If You Are a Republican

Imagine the outcry if this was a Clinton administration official. Wait, did I say outcry? I meant to say imagine the $30 millliion investigation.

Environmental Protection Agency (news - web sites) criminal agents are being diverted from their normal investigative work to provide security and drivers for agency chief Christie Whitman — and getting long lists of do's and don'ts to keep her happy.

EPA agents assigned to investigate environmental crimes have at times been ordered to perform more personal tasks, such as returning a rental car for Whitman's husband after a trip or sitting at a table until the administrator arrived for a restaurant reservation, according to interviews with several EPA senior managers.

The lists of do's and don'ts instruct agents who chauffeur the EPA administrator to ensure they rent only a Lincoln Town Car, tune the radio to smooth jazz or classical music and set the volume low, and keep an eye out for a Starbucks coffee shop or Barnes & Noble book store.
With agents already designated for homeland security tasks, the regional offices sometimes are left without investigators for days at a time when Whitman is in town.

I need a drink.