- Washington, DC (AP) New details are emerging about the details of the recent capture of Pfc. Jessica "little Jessie" Lynch. High-level sources at the Pentagon have confirmed that her unit, the 507th convoy, exchanged gunfire with Iraqi troops they came across. During the melee, an Iraqi soldier yelled out a question to little Jessie, "Are you a Christian?" Without hesitating, our poor little girl screamed out with all of her heart "Yes!" as bullets flew by.
Accoriding to officials, at this point the Iraqi soldiers focused all of their attention onto her, firing 33 bullets into her Christian body while allowing the rest of her unit to escape. "She fought until the end, until she was out of ammunition," one source stated. "The fact that she survived is nothing short of a miracle. In fact, I think there is no doubt that it was indeed a miracle."
When asked for comment, Franklin Graham responded that he too believed that God had provided protection for Jessie.
It goes without saying that this is intended to mock the media's and military's efforts to exploit her story, and not to mock the horrible events the Pfc. Lynch endured. Thanks to MD for the idea.
Mac Diva has a more serious rundown of the media atrocities.