Thursday, December 18, 2003

Smarter Officials Please

Officials say Saddam capture could help in capture of bin Laden, others

Their reason?

"The fate of Saddam Hussein will increase the human intelligence the people here are already giving us as they help in the fight against the enemies of Afghanistan," he told AP from Bagram Air Base, U.S. military headquarters.

"Ohh, now I'm remembering where Osama is hiding. Yes, yes, it's starting to come back to me."

Officials say Sunday's images of a captured Saddam, looking tired with a wild, unkempt beard, might give pause to potential militants thinking of taking on the U.S.-led coalition here.

"I saw Saddam's picture in the news. Hooo nooo, he didn't look good. And that beard? You think maybe we should just put down our arms? That's a fate I'm not prepared for."

"A lot of what we see (in Afghanistan) is irrational and misguided," said German Lt. Gen. Goetz Gliemeroth, commander of a 5,500-strong international peacekeeping force that patrols the Afghan capital. "Whoever tends toward extremism might now think twice about it."

Because now, through the magic of Saddam's capture, they're rational and guided? Uhh, yeah. Whatever you say. That makes perfect sense. Uh huh.

"There is a psychological synergy between the resistance in Iraq and Afghanistan, so if there is any setback in Iraq it will have a ripple effect in Afghanistan," he said. "Bin Laden and his group will be on the defensive and demoralization may set in."

Synergy? I tend to doubt that the Afghan Warlords are paying much attention to The 21 Irrefutable Laws Of Leadership. Besides, wasn't the removal of Saddam and his non-secular rule one of Osama's goals, along with the removal of US bases in Saudi Arabia (I wonder how that ever turned out)? Demoralized? Yeah, you betcha.

Well, you can't argue with experts like that. Expect the Afghans to give up and turn over Omar and Osama any day now.

Oh look, monkeys flying out of my . . .