Thursday, January 20, 2005

The Sheriff -- Transcribed

I never actually had a chance to listen to Mike Signorile's sheriff interview. But, here's the transcript -- it's even funnier than I expected.

The most hilarious bit comes near the end, where Mike's thanking the guy and trying to get him off the phone, and then suddenly... the sheriff has a question.

M: Thanks for giving us this interview today, sir. It--
H: Can I say one more thing?
M: Yes.
H: Okay. Do you want to describe what homosexuals do to each other?
M: Are you asking me a question?
H: Yeah. Why don't we just, you know, if it's not such a terrible thing, a despicable thing, just in common language, let's put up here[?] what these gays do to each other.
M: Well, you know what they do, sir? They fuck, just like straight people fuck. That's what they do. Okay? You know, straight people--
H: --All I'm saying is [unintelligible]
M: You know, you put your dick in your wife's vagina and a lot of you Christian conservatives also put your dicks in other women's cunts when you're not -- you know, when you're married, and are hypocritical. So gay people, yeah, they fuck just like you fuck. That's what they do. And for many of them it's an act of love--
M: And for others of them, just like many of you heterosexuals, it's an act of sheer pleasure, because we live in a free society.
H: Well, tell Congressman Rangel and Senator Hillary Clinton-- You give them my regards.
M: I certainly will, sir. Thank you for joining us today.
H: Okay. Goodbye.

Someone has issues...