Unrewarded Genius

It would be just plain wrong to let the marvelous creation that is the Jeff Goldstein drinking game rest in the obscurity of the comments section of an old Poor Man post. Let's give it, and its creator Clambone, the star billing they deserve.

Jeff Goldstein drinking game (all drinks are Coors Light unless otherwise specified):

- Every time he writes a sentence with over 80 words, drink.

- Every time he uses an insulting name for Bush that you’ve never seen a real leftist use (”Chimpy McHitlerburton”, say), sip.

- Every time he tries to asserts his non-bootlicking credentials by referencing the Terry Schiavo case, drink.

- Every time he mentions that he was the go-to wingnut during Katrina for his unswerving support of Bush and Brownie, chug.

- Every time he writes a sentence that points to ten or more of his own past posts (as in- and this is a real quote- “For those of you interested, you can find my previous posts on the topic (which include comprehensive sourcing of primary and secondary documents) here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.”), huff a paper bag full of airplane glue.

- Every time he writes a mirth-free “humor” post juxtaposing a seventies pop-culture figure and a modern left-winger (”Cindy Sheehan and Billy Jack talk about how they hate freedom and smell their own butts”), drink something ironic, like Harvey’s Bristol Cream. Then call out, voice dripping in self-satisfied sarcasm, “Hey, I sure like this Harvey’s Bristol Cream“.

- Every time he calls someone an anti-Semite, sip. if the person in question is being called an anti-Semite for using the term “neo-con” or “neo-conservative”, drink the bitter tears of the debasement of our discourse by idiots.

- Every time he uses some variation of “BECAUSEOFTHEHYPOCRISY!”, train a parrot to drink.

- Every time that he ignores his purported pro-choice or pro-gay rights principles in the interest of supporting a White House decision or appointee, pour yourself a pitcher of Bloody Jennas (1 part vodka, 2 parts W-brand Ketchup, absolutely no Tabasco). Drink until it don’t hurt no more.