Friday, December 21, 2007

Lord Please Make Them Stop

Maybe millionaire Mitt Romney should film a commercial of him sitting on the couch in his boxing shorts watching bowling on the teevee with one hand clasping a beer and the other one in a bag of pork rinds.

I heard the other day that Mitt Romney is so careful with his weight that he will pick the cheese off his pizza. Then I heard from another source that he eats pizza with a knife and fork. That's two sources, two angles: That's practically confirmation.

I just can't imagine the American people electing as president someone who does that to pizza. I'm not saying a president has to have a special knack for eating pizza - what you call "pizza talent" - but he or she has to respect the pizza, and look comfortable with it.

You want, as a voter, to be able to say, "He looks like he knows his way around a pizza."

There really is practically nothing worse about campaign coverage than Beltway elites imagining how "reglar folks" live and eat and then demanding that presidential candidates pretend that they're just like that!

Who the fuck cares how Mitt Romney eats his pizza?
Just kill me.