Friday, April 13, 2012


Joe Klein.

A few years ago Joe Klein wrote a book called "Politics Lost: How American Democracy was Trivialized by People Who Think You're Stupid." Surprisingly, it wasn't a repentant autobiography, a Lee Atwater-style mea culpa, because if there's anybody who knows how to trivialize Democracy it's Joe Klein, and if there's anybody who thinks you're really fucking stupid it's Joe Klein. Who are you? Just about anybody not named Joe Klein, unless you're a Republican alpha male or a general with some shiny medals. The reason to read Joe Klein is because he's smart, you're not, and if you disagree with him or disrespect him you're likely not just stupid, but an extremist. It's one of his favorite words.

It isn't available online, sadly, but Kevin Baker writing for Harper's got the essence of Joe:

Far from the objectivity that he claims, Klein exists at a perfect confluence of infantalism: all politics must be directed towards meeting his personal needs and prejudices, and all politicians must constantly entertain him.

He's a fairly typical Democrat who hates Democrats, liberal who hates liberals, the real problem with the Democrats being unions, hippies, people who hate the military, people who vote for Democrats, the Democrats they vote for. The usual.

He spent years being America's Concern Troll when it came to Iraq. He opposed the war except, you know, he didn't really bother to tell anybody. He wasn't all that much of a fan of how things were playing out, but the real problem, of course, were the Democrats who were trying to kill off all of our troops by cutting off funding.

Even when he's wrong, he isn't wrong, and fuck you you fucking fuckhead fuckers it's all so hard and who could really expect him to separate true from false. and in any case the REAL PROBLEM is that people on the internets are mean to Joe Klein.
He is small, and an incredible wanker. Also, too, a whiny ass titty baby. A hypocritical one.

I managed to do this without even getting to wanking from the pre-ESCHATON DECADE era. So much wanking.