Sunday, February 25, 2018

The Penis Hat Brigade

So there's this guy you know who wears a giant penis hat around everywhere. He forms a club for other penis hat wearers. There's a kind of fellowship of the penis hat. They have competitions for who has the best penis hats, the biggest ones, the ones with the most bling, etc. They walk among us, proudly wearing their penis hats, telling each other how cool they look with their penis hats. They hang out in malls and movie theaters, parade up and down their suburban neighborhoods, wearing their giant penis hats, all while the rest of us just point and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh because they're a bunch of fucking idiots.

We would laugh if the penis hats didn't kill people, anyway.