Friday, September 21, 2018

The Shit Shotgun

Yesterday began rather strangely, with all of us wondering if Kathleen Parker's paint huffing habit had finally taken its toll.

Is there a Kavanaugh doppelganger?

Hahaha! Wait, no, she was serious?

This was paired with this Politico piece.

On Tuesday evening, Ed Whelan, a conservative activist and legal commentator, posted a remarkable claim about the charge of sexual assault against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.

“By one week from today, I expect that Judge Kavanaugh will have been clearly vindicated on this matter,” Whelan wrote. “Specifically, I expect that compelling evidence will show his categorical denial to be truthful. There will be no cloud over him.”

In a follow-up tweet, he added for good measure: “Senator [Dianne] Feinstein will soon be apologizing to Judge Kavanaugh.” Feinstein is the top Democrat on the Senate Judiciary Committee and the first senator to learn about the accusation against Kavanaugh.

Wow. Sounds like a big deal! Especially since, as Politico informs us.

But his tweet, along with the perception that he is a sober-minded straight shooter, triggered intense speculation among conservatives and even White House aides about whether he had information that could acquit Kavanaugh.

[narrator: like most leading conservatives, Whelan is anything but a sober-minded straight shooter. like most leading conservatives, reporters treat him as if he is.]

A bombshell was coming! Reporters were excited! It was like James O'Keefe back in the old days! WHELAN HAS GOT THE GOODS!!!!

The goods turned out to be Whelan accusing some other guy of being the actual attempted raper (wow I guess we don't worry about unfounded accusations ruining the lives of MEN anymore) based on nothing more than that they looked alike (not really) and suburban houses all pretty much have the same floor plan.

This SLAM DUNK theory had been circulating for a couple of days, and was known at least in part to some reporters, as our Maggie confirmed (first she instinctively retweeted Whelan's accusations, then realized what a shit sandwich it was).

This nonsense was circulating for days! And reporters (#notallreporters) could not wait to run with it!

Of course it was coordinated among all the leading lights.

I can't believe we're losing to these guys.